A runner/cyclist friend of mine was an athlete who could just “show up.” He was skilled enough to compete in basically anything he did.
However, he told me that his game changed once he quit making deals with himself. Huh?
During a race or competition, he used to say to himself, “Keep up with [that guy] until this point and then let him go.” He admitted he wasn’t as sharp as he needed to be mentally. Now, during a race or practice, he’ll set goals, he’ll just say, “Catch that guy.”
How often do we make deals instead of goals?
With our children, “Honey, if you pick up your toys, you can get a snack.” With God, “lord, if you get me through this, I will never…” With ourselves, “If you [do this] then you can [do this].”
Making deals is just like a coach who uses sprints as the only means of discipline. It works, but only for a short while, the athletes soon grow to tolerate it, and not learn from it. Making deals is effective, but only for the short-term. It gets the job done, but it is not sustainable and it causes really bad habits.
When we make deals, we are limiting how good we can become. Our motivation and focus has changed. We are doing something to gain an immediate result, not long-term success. Making deals also gives us an “out”, a reason not to push further when it gets really tough…
Setting goals means having a plan of action without a fallback. It’s stating, “I will do this”, instead of “do this so you can.” It means keeping the focus on the immediate task at hand instead of focusing on the outcome.
Athletes don’t train for the trophy; they train for the feeling of holding the trophy. The only way to do that is to make goals, not deals.
“Good athletes practice until they get it right, great one’s practice until they can’t get it wrong.”
Author: Dr. Rob Bell is the owner. He works with athletes, coaches, and teams-helping them with their mental toughness. email at firstname.lastname@example.org or twitter @drrobbell